Yesterday I was chatting with a friend about our respective counseling and art therapy practices. She said that her supervisor had suggested she write a blog, beginning with the prompt: If you had the world's attention for thirty minutes, what message would you share?

It's a thrillingly big and shiny question, evoking the ultimate soapbox - the TED talk. I began to riff on it, speaking to the first thing that came to mind: Trust in the process.

I first named that the phrase feels like a cliché, but I stayed with it. In all my years of engaging in therapies and creative practices, I feel that one of the skills I have most developed is that of trusting the process. In the space of the unknown, when fear is present, it takes courage to stay with what is showing up. And when things are difficult and painful, it's particularly challenging to trust in what is unfolding. There are some qualities or attitudes that can support this trust.

I remember many years ago shifting from a cognitively-based therapist to a somatically-based practitioner. In each session, this skilled and wise practitioner would invite me to pay attention to my body, to notice where in my body I experienced sensations, to stay with them and to name them. I noticed that many layers of experiencing unfolded from that simple awareness and noticing. I came to learn to trust the wisdom of my body in its healing process.

As an artist too, I was able to deepen into the wisdom of emergence in my 'mandala a day' practice. In showing up to the blank page every day, I was invited to trust... To trust the impulse to pick up pencil, pen, or watercolour paint. To trust the impulse to make the marks bold or light. To trust the impulse to hold an exhibition, a weekend long space at a festival, to create a set of oracle cards. Every time I meet the blank page, the dance floor, the instrument, I meet the unknown and I trust. I trust myself to find that next step, mark, or note. I trust myself to listen to the impulse. 

For me, trust in the process is supported by a few qualities:

First, trusting in the process involves curiosity. Curiosity is a wonderful state of alert and open attention to what is and what will be. It's deeply connected to creativity. Curiosity may carry a tinge of wonder, inquisitiveness, or playfulness. Curiosity can sit alongside fear as we step into the unknown. Simply asking ourselves, 'I wonder what would happen if...', or 'I'm curious to hear/learn more about...' can assist us in creating this open awareness. Curiosity is non-judgemental and non-critical. It is also connected to problem solving and innovation.

Second, trusting in the process is supported by our willingness to pay attention and to name what is happening. Noticing and naming are some of the core skills of mindfulness. Over many years I've developed a capacity for deeper listening to myself. I notice the signals of my body, paying attention to the flashes of image or phrases that show up. If I stay with what is happening, noticing and naming, I'm in the flow, alive to the moment. Even stuckness can be attended to with this trust. If I am able to attend to my lived experience in the moment, present to myself, this attunement can be deeply healing. 

Third, trusting in the process is supported by our flexibility and capacity to respond to what is. When we're curious, and able to notice and name what we are experiencing, we are then able to adapt and pivot as needed. We meet transitions and change with dexterity and resilience. We find our stuckness might be an invitation to rest, to tend to the soil of our being. Our mistakes may lead us down new and unexpected paths. Our failures are opportunities to grow and shift direction. 

Ultimately, trusting in the process is trusting in ourselves. And trusting in that 'something bigger', the mystery in which we all live and breath and dance. Trusting the process is about deepening our connection to ourselves and our place in the world. We listen to the signals of our bodies, and receive the mirroring of our beloveds and the world around us. We stay present to ourselves, committed to our emergence. Our tiny seed impulses are able to grow into mighty trees. 

How is your relationship with trust? What supports you to trust in the process?

Images below from 'The Creative Soul Mandala Oracle': Emergence and Trust.

The new year has arrived, and for some of us, this is a time for setting new intentions.

On New Year's day, I sit in dappled shade with a circle of dear friends by a creek down at Bear Gully in Gippsland. We work through the 'Year Compass' booklet, a free review and intention-setting process developed by some generous Hungarians.

I find it easy to write the review aspect of the booklet. Rather than seeing 2020 as a write-off, it was for me both challenging and remarkably growth-full. To note the many ways in which I'd met the challenges presented is affirming and celebratory. I am able to really appreciate the gifts I received throughout the year, and to acknowledge the massive energy output. 

Then I come to the intention-setting aspect. 

And I struggle.

I notice a heavy, lagging energy. A little voice inside my mind is saying "I can't"... "I'm not ready".

I really can't begin to plan, visualise, or set intentions.

So I stay with that feeling. I pay attention. I bring awareness to my body and to that voice.

I realise that I am exhausted. That my most pressing need is not to push forward, to build on the gains, to hustle or promote, or plan... but to rest.

So I make that my first step. 

Rest.
Nourish.
Play.
Replenish. 
Rejuvenate.

And I feel the resistance relax a little.

I decide to push back the start of my online program from Feb to March, giving me extra space and time to rest, then to prepare. 

I decide to make sustainability and self nurture a focus of the year.

I decide to make my word of the year 'kindness'.    

And I feel my breath deepen into my belly. My body soften.

Three weeks later...
I've just had a massage, and have booked another for a few weeks time.
I've booked some time down at Yiruk Warnoon (Wilson's Prom) with friends.
I'm attending to my inner world via a Soulcentric Dreamwork circle.
I'm taking my time to settle back into business, and beginning to dream into offerings that are nourishing for my participants and me.
I'm making time for play, creativity, music, and nature. 

Slowly, slowly.

Gently, gently.

I'm reminded of the beautiful song by Karen Drucker:
"I will be gentle with myself...
I will only go as fast as the slowest part of me feels safe to go". 

What energy is carrying you into 2021?
Are you in need of rest?
Or are you eager to launch yourself into this new year, no time to waste?
Does this period feel like one of beginnings, or more about sustaining your practice?
Is this a time of tending to your inner world, or for bringing your gifts shining into the outer world?

If you're feeling the call for support in your life path, please feel free to get in touch for a free 15 minute session.

​Art therapy is a beautiful way to attune to your inner world and to discern what is most important for you right now. ​

Last night I popped into a friend's house. A child walked up and asked, 'Who are you'? I replied with a smile, 'I'm Michelle, who are you?' My friend's housemate continued the introduction and said, 'This is Michelle. She made the cards we've been playing with today!'.

It turns out that they'd been using the Mandala Cards to play a game. They'd pull a card together, and then use the card as a prompt to do something. They pulled the Voice card and sang a song together. They pulled the Reflections card and both looked in the mirror. They pulled the Shape Shifter cad and made different shapes with their bodies. They pulled the Play card and said, "yep, we're playing already'. 

I felt so much joy to hear the cards were being used in this way!

 thought I would extend their playful expression and make a full list of play suggestions for kids. 

Creative Soul Mandala Oracle - Kids Version

Anchors: When things are busy or moving quickly, what helps to slow you down?
Camouflage: Using bits of material or clothes, camouflage yourself for a game of hide and seek.
Clarity: Imagine you can fly really high in the sky and look down... what can you see? Draw or paint it.
Communication: Say something important to someone you love.
Community: Draw or paint a picture of your community.
Compassion: Name three ways that you can be kind to yourself and others.
Contemplation: Go outside, find an object in nature and describe it to a friend.
Creative Spirit: What's your favourite way to be creative? Do that!
Curiosity: What are you most curious or interested about at the moment? Find out three new things you didn't know before.
Cycles: Make a picture of the seasons.
Depth: If you were looking into a rock pool at the beach, what might you see? Make a picture.
Emergence: Play a game of charades, or improvisation.
Harmony: Listen for the harmonies in some of your favourite songs.
Identity:  Draw a picture of yourself and write down some of the things that make you, you.
Inspiration: Draw a picture of someone who inspires you. Then someone that you inspire.
Integration: Practice patting your head and rubbing your belly at the same time.
Intention: Think about a goal you have, and how you might achieve it.
Meditation: Spend 2 minutes in quiet meditation.
Mess: Is there a mess to clean up? Play 'whizz bang'; set a timer for five minutes and see how quickly you can get it done!
Mind: Draw or write down some of the most encouraging things your friends or family say to you.
Movement: Put on some music and move your body however you like.
Navigation: Make a picture of a compass and find out which way is north. Where does the sun come up?
Patterns: Fill a page with lots of different patterns.
Pause: Take a deep breath. Then another deep breath. Then another deep breath. How do you feel?
Perseverance: Work out ten different ways you can persevere: "Instead of giving up I will..."
Play: Play your favourite game!
Protection: If you had a superhero who always looks out for you, what would their superpowers be?
Readiness: What's your next big challenge? What's going to help you to achieve it?
Reflections: Draw a picture of the people who help you most.
Resistance: Press your hands against someone elses and lean in together... how does it feel to meet resistance in this way?
Rest: Put on some calming music, lay down, and slowly let your body sink into the floor.
Rhythm: Play some drums, clapsticks, maracas, or other rhythm instruments. 
Senses: What can you see? What can you hear? What can you feel? What can you taste? What can you smell?
Shape Shifter: Move your body as though you were a mouse, snake, kangaroo, platypus, magpie, trout,... etc. 
Support: Use clay, sticks, leaves, grasses, string etc. to make a nest/hammock/web or other supportive structure.
Surrender: Make a boat out of cushions and imagine you're sailing down a gentle river, going with the flow.
The Unknown: Play a guessing game, like 'I spy', 'guess who', 'hangman', or 'battle ship'.
The Void: Make up a new game using words, actions, and sounds. 
Transformation: Make a piece of art about a world issue that you feel strongly about, eg. climate change, refugees, indigenous health, Treaty, etc.
Trust: Play a trust game like 'blindfold', 'pendulum' 'blind tunnel', 'counting to twenty', etc. 
Vibration: Share one of your artworks with someone important to you.
Voice: Make up a song and sing it with someone else. Or sing a song that you both know.

Have fun playing!

The Creative Soul Mandala Oracle is available here.
​

I used to leap over edges and crash out afterwards. I would attend weekend workshops and intensives and push myself into new and uncomfortable territory. I'd have expansive experiences and get high, but then wouldn't see any lasting change. Somewhere along the way, I grew tired of the impact on my nervous system and began to value gentle approaches to personal development. 

That's why I love the creative process as a way to meet edges. 

In the creative process, I can slow down, really notice where my edges are, and how my body responds. I can adjust my practice while tending to the vulnerability that lives in me. Instead of bypassing the fear and charging onward, I can embrace those parts and carry them with me. 

I'll share a story as an example.

I've been working on a few big projects over the past couple of years. One of them is a new 12-week online program to support creatives, artists and those wishing to cultivate more creativity in their lives. I absolutely loved creating the content, filming videos, recording audios, and making reflection sheets over summer this year and was all set to launch it for autumn.

Then I hit fear. 

I took some time to sit with the fear. I was telling myself that the timing wasn't right, When I explored further I acknowledged that there were a few things contributing to that belief. An acquaintance had just launched a similar program and had truly amazing marketing and I felt inadequate. And then I had a surgery and my recovery took way longer than I anticipated. And covid happened and EVERYONE was launching stuff online. The market felt saturated. 

The fear was giving me useful information. The launch was an edge that felt too big to meet and cross at that time. And so I chose to step back. I pressed pause on the project and just sat with it. In the months that followed, I offered a free online creativity challenge (right now there are 339 participants!). I was blown away by the participants' courage, vulnerability, and willingness to show up. They have inspired me so much! Over time, I recovered from my surgery and felt some energy returning. And yes, everything was still online, and that's okay.

So I decided to offer the online program in spring. I put out the event and began to promote it.

And hit fear again.

This time the fear was about how it would be received. What if no one registers? What if people enrolled and don't resonate with what I offer? What if it's too basic? What if my videos are annoying? What if the quality isn't good enough?

I acknowledge that this fear is a totally normal response to the unknown. This is new territory. I don't know how it will land for people! I can't know! So I'm calling this an experiment and am carrying my fear and curiosity forward to meet this edge. 

I'm being gentle with myself. I'm taking time to journal or make art when I feel stuck. I'm inquiring into the feelings that are present when I find myself procrastinating. I'm meeting multiple edges with gentleness, courage, and tenacity. I'm taking pauses, and also calling in assistance from others.

It feels good.

I'm nervous and excited that my program begins this Monday. :-)

Awaken Your Creative Genius

Please get in touch if you're sitting at your creative edge and would like to call in support.

Love and creative blessings,
Chelle 

A counselor and sex therapist friend is writing a blog for their website and wanted to interview me about my current creativity challenge on Facebook, 'Fill the Page'. I thought I would share here as well!

At the beginning of our second lockdown I was invited to create another online group "for covid sanity". I created a simple and open invitation for people to fill a page each day. Over the period of the challenge, 'the page' has included drawings, paintings, poetry, photography, birthday cakes, knitted gloves, collage and other mediums in a beautiful and surprising diversity of creative exploration.

What do you think benefits people from creating daily?
I find that making art every day is an incredible anchor, particularly during times of challenge, transition or upheaval. It provides a sense of structure and stability. It's like showing up to the meditation cushion, bringing whatever is present to the practice. A daily creative practice is an opportunity to connect more deeply with ourselves and reflect on the day, giving some space to the feelings, thoughts, sensations and patterns that are arising. Or it can be a space of pause and rest, taking time out from life's challenges. A daily creative practice is a clear, boundaried task which can help to generate an ongoing sense of achievement.

What if a person doesn’t feel like being creative?
During my year of making an artwork every day, there were certainly days that I didn't feel like being creative! It's really normal to experience fluctuating motivation and inspiration. I found that carrying an attitude of curiosity was foundational to the practice. I would show up to the page and be curious about what might emerge. There was a sense of play and wonder that no matter how I felt about the practice, something always showed up. That was amazing to me. I felt connected to something bigger than myself; that a creative spirit was moving through me. I also made sure that I structured my practice to suit my energy levels. For example, if I was exhausted after work I would set my timer for ten minutes and let that be my practice.

What is creativity?  
Great question! For me creativity is woven throughout life and is part of being human. Creativity can express in someone's cooking, in tending their garden, or in their approach to problem solving at work, as well as through the arts and craft. It's the capacity to bring something new to the world. That new thing may be inspired by a range of sources, internal or external. As an arts therapist I'm really interested in creative process, paying attention to what happens as we create and how this might show us our patterns and ways of being. 

For those who are interested to explore their creative process in more depth, I'm offering a 12-week online program, 'Awaken Your Creative Genius'. It establishes a foundational daily creative practice, and then moves into a creative project.

Find out more at www.cocooncreativeartstherapies.com.au 

I'm not just an arts therapist.

I thought that was what I wanted to be, and what I was creating in my business, but something just wasn't sitting right with me. There was a little edge of uneasiness inside me when I called myself an arts therapist that I couldn't work out. 

Last year, I finished up in a job I'd held for three years and found myself in the void, unsure of my next steps. From that space emerged an opportunity to continue my spiritual care studies through a second unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). CPE is a program of education for spiritual (pastoral) care practitioners. It engages an action-reflection-integration model of learning in a small group, with individual and group supervision in a hospital setting. To be honest, I started the process of application half-heartedly. I procrastinated, left it too late, then called to apologise and to say that I wouldn't apply after all. I was invited to put my application in late anyway and found myself just doing it. 

I was accepted into the program. And then became conscious of the fear that I was holding.  After my first day in the program, I journalled a page full of worries, doubts and fears; about my own emotional capacity, about the heaviness of the work, about my personal health issues. I re-framed each statement, invited a new perspective, and continued to show up.

After five months of spiritual care practice in a major private hospital, companioning patients and their loved ones who are experiencing massive challenges, I have found that my fears and doubts were unfounded. I found a passion for the work that emerged from deep within, beyond the intellectual understanding I have held about spiritual care in my research and project work over the past 11 years. I have found a deeper trust in myself as practitioner and sense of authority arising from the skills and experience I carry in my practice. I found that I can rely on my self care and spiritual (including my creative arts) practices to support me. 

I'm not an arts therapist, because I am more than an arts therapist.

I am a practitioner working in a person-centred model of care, drawing upon the skills and practices of arts therapies, spiritual care, and body work. I also carry tools from sound healing, possibility management, Soulcraft, somatic experiencing, meditation and mindfulness, and group facilitation. I am inspired by values of service, integrity, compassion, connection, emergence, and creativity.

This is emergent work, based in deep listening, showing up to the moment, noticing what is in the space between us, inviting exploration with curiosity and a sense of trust in the Mystery.

In 2020, it is my intention that I will be working part time as a spiritual care practitioner in a major Melbourne hospital. I am also opening up a limited number of individual sessions privately for clients who are aligned with this way of working. 

If you'd like to experience a relationship of support for the challenges you are meeting in life, please do contact me so we can talk about your needs. 

​Blessings and love for the new year,
Chelle 
0409946994

I'm curious about transitions at the moment.

My job is finishing this Wednesday and I have to admit I haven't been handling the impending change particularly well. I'm not sleeping... My mind is constantly trying to work out the details of how I can earn money, juggle study and work, or imagining worst case scenarios where I end up with no money and no place to live.

It's not just this transition. I've struggled with other times of transition, as well. For example, moving house or ending relationship. In the past, big transitions have taken me into periods of depression. 

In a self-compassionate space, I recognise that transitions are stressful. Moving house, losing a job, ending relationship, they're all right at the top of the stress scale. In periods of transitions, it can feel like the foundations or ground beneath my feet have become unsteady, or even totally disappeared. This ending feels like I'm being kicked out of a comfy nest that I've grown too big for. I need to stretch my wings now and fly. 

And yet, I'm experiencing massive amounts of fear. Fear of the unknown. My wings have stretched a little, but I don't know if I can fly long distances yet. Once I'm out of the nest, I can't return.

Transitions are a dance with the unknown. And fear is a normal, natural and helpful response to the unknown. It brings alive my senses, helps me to seek out resources and plan effective action. 

Transitions are about meeting that edge, sitting with the fear. Letting it move in me. It's actually amazing how many creative ideas I'm having in the wee hours of the night! Fear, manifesting as worry and anxiety, is actually supporting me to meet this challenge of transition. 

I feel like I'm bringing some new awareness to the nuance of this transition. When I'm not freaking out, I'm aware that this ending is opening up new horizons, and bringing forth possibilities that I've longed for, but not yet taken action to bring to fruition. 

I'm sure there are skills and resources that I can draw upon to navigate this transition with more grace. I can see that practices of acceptance and gratitude could be supportive. That the sadness of loss helps me to let go. That making space to be present with the fear is essential. I'm curious to learn more and so I'm going to engage in an arts inquiry to follow my curiosity and see what emerges.  

​Would you like to join me in this inquiry?

​<3 Chelle

I'm nearing the completion of a year-long commitment to creative practice. To celebrate the final month, I'm inviting others to join me in making a new mandala every day for the month of April. Mandala is a sanskrit term that roughly translates as manda - essence, and la - container or vessel. So a mandala is a container for essence. Essentially, the mandala is a circle. In my year-long practice, I began with a circle and filled it with marks each day.
As a little supportive inspiration, I'm sharing a list of prompts... ways to start when you feel you'd like some inspiration. Here goes!

1. Fill the circle without looking
2. Try a new medium
3. Use tools like rulers or protractors
4. Make a repeating pattern
5. Represent a feeling
6. Articulate an experience
7. Make a mandala with a friend
8. If this mandala represented your life...
9. Represent the essence of your day
10. Start in a new way - from the centre, from the outside, a new size, different surface
11. Use a random word generator and represent that word visually
12. Visually describe a core value
13. Circles in circles...
14. Take inspiration from sacred geometry
15. Try flowing... Try structured...
16. Use your non-dominant hand
17. Invite the page to speak
18. Let the medium guide you
19. Represent a bodily sensation
20. Try colour or monochrome or both
21. Use an image as inspiration
22. Browse mandalas on Pinterest
23. Tell a story
24. Let the breath guide the image
25. Explore form and formlessness
26. Make a mess
27. Represent a significant moment
28. Listen to music and let it guide the image
29. Trust your inner impulse
30. Partner with the mystery

Have fun! If you share on social media, please use #mandala #mandalaaday

I can't tell you how many times I've found solace in the embrace of the natural world. I share three short stories below:

'As an angst-filled teenager, I flee the house and make my way on horseback or foot to the river that winds its way through crown land at the back of our property. There is a particular section of wide brown water where three tall eucalypts lean out over the water. I feel myself in resonance with these trees, hovering over the swirling depths, barely gripping the earthy edge.'

'When I arrive at the Wild Mind Gathering site on Friday afternoon, I find myself scattered, busy, thoughts racing and body tense. Tears and hugs begin to melt tension into softness as I meet and connect with myself and others. On the Saturday morning, I am still feeling a little out of sorts, and so I leave my shoes and walk alone and barefoot into the bush, careful footfalls following animal trails through the low, dense brush until I come to a huge tree.

I see the fire-blackened trunk of this tree, which nurtures a living heart, and I recognise this tree as a survivor. I sit at the base of the tree, rest my back against its broad trunk and come into stillness. Tiny birds twitter and dart in the brush nearby, opening my heart to joy. I am suddenly transported to my solo vision fast, undertaken a few months earlier. 

Every part of me thought I would die out there. Yet, I survived my quest. I made it. I sense the tree and birds bearing witness to my release, and to the larger story that is held in that release. I am awash with feelings of profound gratitude, deep sobs rising from within me and sounding amongst the trees.

Eventually, the sobs recede and I thank the tree and birds. I make my way to the cleansing waters of the stream, and then back to the welcoming arms of community, where I tell two trusted friends about my experience. I carry a sense of integration, openness, blessing and renewed knowing of the power of connecting with wild places.' 

'I am raging following a series of frustrating events. I take myself to Birrarung. I walk up the hill away from the river, raising a sweat. I speak my frustrations to the surrounding bush. Then, descending close to the river once more, I come to a tree. I ask its permission for a hug. It says yes, so I stretch my arms across its width, feeling its warm embrace envelop me. The tree says, "Hey, little sister". Tears flow. Rivers of tears. I cry out my pain and the tree offers warm and supportive words. I am held. I am held. More tears flow from depths I can't understand. I thank the tree for its warm and generous support. Eventually, I make my way along the path, lighter for this interaction.'

***
I notice as I write that I have become accustomed to going to nature to release or self-soothe. I feel a sense of guilt and shame that I have received so much, and feel that I haven't yet offered enough back. I'm curious to explore this imbalance. How can I engage a deeper relationship with the world? What can I offer back? How can I cultivate a meaningful relationship of mutuality?

I'm looking forward to engaging more deeply in this inquiry during the upcoming 5-day immersion with Bill Plotkin (Author of Soulcraft, Wild Mind), Deep Imagination: Soulcraft and the Reanimation of the World. 
​
***
The Wild Mind gathering was held as a meeting place to explore themes of environment, embodiment and empowerment. It was a profound weekend facilitated by Sean O'Carroll. My gratitude.